Reframing Your Thoughts
OK, so I’m NOT a positive person by nature…
I know, I know, I know! You probably didn’t expect that and maybe you’re wondering why the heck I think I’m qualified to talk about creating a positive mindset, when I don’t naturally have one. I’d argue THAT is EXACTLY what makes me qualified. You see, it doesn’t come naturally to me to think about the best case scenarios, so I’ve had to learn how to shift my thinking from worst case to → neutral → best case scenario thinking.
Is it natural for you to imagine all the positive outcomes of a choice, action, decision, or idea you have? Or do you naturally tend to think a bit more hesitantly like me?
Good news, sis. No matter where you stand now, there’s hope for you! (Trust me, if I can learn to shift my thinking from “we’re-never-going-to-make-it” to “hey, we got this”, you can too.)
Shifting your thinking first begins with recognizing your patterns of thoughts and then re-working the idea/feeling/thought you have. It doesn’t mean that you ignore or deceive yourself to avoid the true feeling or fear you have. No, it means you acknowledge the reality of how you feel and what you think, but rather than just accepting it as automatically true, you stop and question it.
Is there any proof to back up this thought/belief/idea/feeling?
Am I seeing all sides or possibilities of this (positive and negative)?
Can this thought be reframed to be neutral not negative?
Let’s take a look at an example...
Scenario: You’re getting ready to go to a social gathering at a friend of a friend’s house, and you don’t know who will be there or what to expect.
Thought/feeling/belief: I shouldn’t even bother going to tonight. I probably won’t know many people and I’ll be forced into awkward conversations or standing alone trying not to be awkward. No one will even notice if I don’t come, and at least if I’m at home, I’ll be saving myself the embarrassment of running out of things to say or people to talk to.
How to reframe this:
Recognize and acknowledge the truthful statements/feelings/thoughts you have
Consider other perspectives or possibilities (if you’re prone to thinking negatively, think about possible positive outcomes)
Combine truths with new possibilities for a neutral reframed thought
Reframed thought: Ok, there’s a good chance there will be several people I don’t know at the party tonight, but I do know that Jane is going, and I’ll have a chance to meet some new people, too. There may be an instance when I feel awkward or there’s a lull in conversation, but that is normal and OK. I don’t have to stay the entire time, but I can go and stay as long as I feel comfortable.
True story, I’ve had this same conversation/thought process plenty of times in my own life.
So here’s the deal, sis. You CAN reframe your thinking. You CAN consider other possibilities than the ones that come naturally to you. You CAN begin to speak confidence into your life through simple mindset shifts and practices. You CAN reframe your thinking. It takes practice, but you CAN do it.
Try it out and let me know what you think!
