What Are YOU Saying to Yourself?
Confidence is not something that you can just switch on whenever you need a little mood boost or pick-me-up. The tone for what you believe about yourself is set in motion from a young age (messages from family members, conversations, interpretations of trauma or other experiences, comparisons you make, etc.) and reinforced from all other experiences throughout your life. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to change; in fact, it absolutely IS possible to change. BUT, first thing’s first: You have to change your thinking.
Confident behavior stems from a confident person. A confident person recognizes the potential for things to work out well. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t acknowledge challenges or problems, but instead, she faces them with an attitude and optimism that resolves to make it through them. And inevitably when they show up, she does too with a fiery spirit and determination. So, how does she do it?
Like, I said, switching your thinking and flipping your natural habits on its head is not a quick process, but it CAN be done. If you find yourself ready to take the first step, here it is… Start paying attention to what YOU are saying to yourself.
Everyone has an inner dialogue going on throughout the day. What messages are you telling yourself? Are they positive, encouraging, kind, helpful? Are those messages and thoughts rooted in truth? Here’s the nitty gritty of it:
• the average person has between 12,000-60,000 thoughts per day⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• about 80% of your thoughts are negative⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• roughly 98% of your thoughts are repeated from the day before⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
... Which means what YOU are saying to YOURSELF is going to stick. You’re creating a thought pattern, a cycle, a habit by the way you speak to yourself, which then goes on to impact your beliefs, your self-perception, your work ethic, your productivity, and ultimately, your chance at success. It’s essentially the self-fulfilling prophecy. How are you speaking to yourself? With grace? With kindness? With compassion? With truth? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you want to start speaking to yourself with an attitude that anticipates and believes the best try these 3 tips:
🤍 Avoid using extreme phrases like “can’t”, “never”, “forever”, “never”, “always”, “should”, etc.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤍 Pause & ask yourself: Is this true? Is there proof? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤍 Reframe or rephrase your thought or feeling to make it neutral⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Keep it real, but keep it positive (or neutral at least!).. The way you speak to yourself matters, and if you start practicing these 3 steps, I think you’ll see a more positive attitude begin to form… ultimately leading to a more confident you.
XO,
Carli Jean
